Church Of Flying Spaghetti Monster Commandments
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, also known as Pastafarianism, is a religion that was created in 2005 by Bobby Henderson as a parody of the intelligent design movement. The religion's central belief is that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe.
While the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is primarily known for its humorous and satirical approach to religion, it does have a set of commandments that its followers are encouraged to follow. These commandments, known as the Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts, are meant to be taken with a grain of salt and are not meant to be taken too seriously.
1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness
This commandment is a way of saying that followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster should not act as if they are better than others because of their beliefs. The religion emphasizes the importance of tolerance and acceptance of all beliefs and lifestyles.
2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence as a Means to Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, or... You Know, Be Mean to Others
This commandment is a way of saying that followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster should not use their beliefs as a way to harm or discriminate against others. The religion emphasizes the importance of treating others with kindness and respect.
3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or... Well, Just Play Nice, Okay?
This commandment is a way of saying that followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster should not judge others based on their appearance or behavior. The religion emphasizes the importance of accepting others for who they are, regardless of their background or lifestyle.
4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change
This commandment is a way of saying that followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster should not engage in behavior that harms themselves or others. The religion emphasizes the importance of consent and personal responsibility.
5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B******S
This commandment is a way of saying that followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster should not engage in arguments or debates when they are hungry or angry. The religion emphasizes the importance of taking care of one's physical and emotional needs before engaging in contentious discussions.
6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A) Ending Poverty B) Curing Diseases C) Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
This commandment is a way of saying that followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster should not prioritize building extravagant places of worship over helping others. The religion emphasizes the importance of using resources to make the world a better place.
7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
This commandment is a way of saying that followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster should not try to convince others that their beliefs are the only correct ones. The religion emphasizes the importance of respecting others' beliefs and promoting love and kindness.
8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did IT I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something
This commandment is a way of saying that followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster should not impose their sexual beliefs or preferences on others. The religion emphasizes the importance of mutual consent and safe sex practices.
In conclusion, the Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are a lighthearted and humorous take on religious commandments. While they may not be taken too seriously, they do promote important values such as tolerance, acceptance, and kindness towards others.